


White carnations and yellow chrysanthemums

by Sleepingnow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Butterflies, Crying Yamaguchi Tadashi, Depressed Tsukishima Kei, Depressed Yamaguchi Tadashi, Fights, Flashbacks, Flowers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Metaphors, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Regret, Reincarnation, Sad, Sad Yamaguchi Tadashi, Suicide, Swearing, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Third Year Yamaguchi Tadashi, Time Skips, Tsukki is dead, Whump, Yamaguchi Tadashi Needs a Hug, Yams just misses his bf, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepingnow/pseuds/Sleepingnow
Summary: White carnations and yellow chrysanthemums truly were a lovely combination
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 24





	White carnations and yellow chrysanthemums

**Author's Note:**

> Please check the tags and read the warning before continuing with this fic, as it may have triggering topics. Stay safe 💕  
> (Rated Mature for suicide) 
> 
> This is cross posted on my wattpad.  
> It takes place in thier third year.

It was a late spring night, grass wet from rain soaking into the fabric of Tadashi's faded jeans. A bundle of flowers sat laying on a patch of dirt, lonely even for something that couldn't process that desolate feeling. Yamaguchi envied that. Dry pedals of yellow and off-white fall from the stem, they could fly away any moment, scattering to the wind. But Yamaguchi wouldn't let that happen. He wasn't ready for them to leave yet. White carnations and yellow chrysanthemums truly were a lovely combination.  
Tsukishima was beautiful, even more so than the flowers that sat in his memory. They could never completely encapsulate how lovely he was, they weren't even close. But even so, they were nice.  
Tsukishima was his moon, and sometimes, Yamaguchi waited for the sky to cave in, stars raining down in a wave of gold and silver. Yamaguchi wished he could go to space. It had never been a dream of his before. Even as a child, his classmates would marvel about astronauts, but Yamaguchi was content with where he was. Space was scary anyway. But in space he would never have to be lonely again. He could go to the moon if he wanted to, he could be with Tsukki again. He wouldn't mind that.  
Tsukishima would most definitely call him pathetic right now. Yamaguchi wouldn't mind that, either. He wished he could hear Tsukki again, it didn't really matter what he said. 

Golden rays of sun peek through the parted shades that hung over Tsukishima's window, as if greeting the two a goodnight. Kei and Tadashi laid in a bundle of entangled legs and intertwined hands, paying no mind to the time that passed. Tadashi's freckles looked like stars, illuminated by the honey colored hue seeping into the room. Kei gently brushed his thumb across Tadashi's cheek, he had always loved his freckles. Tsukishima was never one to talk much, showing his love through gestures rather than words. But Tadashi didn't mind. He learned to understand him instead. Butterflies swarmed in Yamaguchi's stomach. He always felt giddy when he was with Tsukishima, even though they spend a majority of their days together. 

Tadashi missed that. He missed the swarm of butterflies that fluttered in his stomach, warmth blooming everywhere tsukki touched. 

Dead butterflies and wilted flowers resided in the deepest pit of his stomach. They had sunk far down when Tsukki left, they still hadn't fluttered since. 

It was just a simple word, really. Who knew that a simple word could get so out of hand? Who knew that a single conversation would cause someone's death? Tadashi wishes he had learned earlier. 

"Fuck you, Tsukki!" Cold winter air swept through the night like a thin layer of smoke. "I was always there for you, even though you're such an asshole! I was with you every day at school, I was there for you after everything that happened with your brother, I was even here when your stupid fucking dad used to beat you! And this is what I get?" The snow fell rapidly, harshly pelting down on Tsukishima's thin sweater. A dull chill ran through his bones. His cheeks were red, though it would be impossible to tell whether it was from the cold, or the newly formed tears rolling down his face. He smiled. It was bitter, but there was no malice hidden in it, at least none for anyone else.  
"If you had always hated me so much, I wish you would've just left earlier."  
Snow crumpled underneath his sneaker as he left, making his way back to the only home he had left, not being able to bear the fact that he had just lost one.

A sob erupted from his throat, the long since deceased butterflies making their way out along with wilted flower petals. He missed Tsukishima. No flowers or butterflies or memories could replace him, not even the moon itself.  
So for now, Yamaguchi would leave flowers for someone who would never see them, and long to go to space for someone who isn't even there, until their next life.


End file.
